breast cancer kicks ass

Breast Cancer Kicks Ass
How Can I Join the "In Crowd"?
    manliness

   

I have gathered that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. As any respectable man should, I avoid network TV and all other forms of stupid ass women-driven nonsense entertainment but the NFL has made sure that I am “aware” of breast cancer by forcing their players to wear pink accessories on the field in October. At this point I have had enough awareness for a lifetime.

First of all, why should I give two shits about breast cancer? I am a man. It doesn’t affect me in any way. If you are a man and you get breast cancer I have a something for you to read.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_selection

Oh I know...“My mom/girlfriend/wife/sister could get breast cancer and so I should join the fight against it”. I call bullshit. They could get heart disease, _______ cancer, Alzheimer's, etc. so why the obsession with breast cancer? It is very simple. It is a woman’s disease. Therefore it is more legitimate in the eyes in of the media. Prostate cancer is every bit as common as breast cancer and it only affects men. You think you will see the WNBA wearing a manly color to promote awareness of prostate cancer? Hell no.

Breast cancer is the new “hip” disease. Over the last generation or so we have decided that having diseases is cool and fresh. It gives people a reason to show their awareness and support with stupid ass shit like car ribbons, rubber bracelets, and so on. There is no better way to show you are a caring conscientious person than to show your “support” for a disease. All that ignores that your fucking “support” goes straight into the pockets of the genius who is selling the overpriced trinket and laughing at you as you support their cocaine and prostitute habit.

Let’s look at other cool diseases and try to understand how they became hip:

HIV/AIDS - The first “cool” disease. It overwhelmingly affected homosexuals (still does by the way) and IV drug users. These two groups can be seen as victims. Gays because they are discriminated against and IV drug users because society does not adequately provide them a good life so they turn to a live of drug use and addiction.

Autism - Everyone has sympathy for the kids who supposedly can’t speak and their parents who have tried everything to make their kids functional. All this ignores that this fucking disease basically didn’t exist forty years ago and that it is a blanket diagnosis to explain all kinds of retardation and stupidity. Children’s diseases are doubly great because they can spread the victimhood to their parents as well.

And then, of course, breast cancer. What does these diseases have in common? Not a lot OTHER than they don’t affect regular guys. If you want to identify the next “hip” disease you have to find something that does not affect non-gay men. You know, the evil working class guy who just does his thing. He’ll probably get heart disease and prostate cancer but who gives a shit about that? No one.

Is there any doubt that having breast cancer or even better being a “breast cancer survivor” is a HUGE positive in employment? That is why I want some breast cancer. Go into a job interview and just talk about the pain and the “battle” of overcoming breast cancer and you’ll be sure to get employed by some sorry ass HR person who loves misery and sob stories. You want a promotion? Storm into your manager’s office with a I AM A BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR t-shirt and you’ll walk out with a plush new do-nothing job. We may as well just add it to the employment applications now “Are you a BREAST cancer survivor?”. You’ll gain at least ten “employ me” points on your application.

I have a great idea to get rid of the breast cancer “scourge”. Just cut off all women’s boobs at age 14 and replace them with fakies. NO shortage of benefits here. No saggy boobs, no breast cancer AND massive job growth in the plastic surgery industry. How is that for some real stimulus?!

Am I the only one who is fed up with this nonsense? You are sick, get over it. You have cancer? Either live or die and I hope you make it but don’t throw your affliction in my face, I don’t give a shit. Here is a novel idea... stop eating shit food and start exercising. Oh wait... that is insensitive and unfair.

America’s obsession with victimhood is one of the most disturbing trends in our society. The next “hip” disease is going to be Fibromyalgia. Why? If affects only women AND has NO diagnostic criteria! No annoying exams to prove you have joined the in crowd, all you need to do is bitch and complain about some phantom pains and you suddenly become one of the cool victims of this psuedo-disease. You watch. You enterprising guys out there should start printing up “support Fibromyalgia” ribbons and bumper stickers now. Get the URLs now. You’ll thank me later.


copied from arthurshall.com (offline)